Shocking Revelations
by BitterEloquence
Summary: G1: Inferno learns something new about Red Alert everyday. Unfortunately, he wasn't expecting this particular revelation, and it's consequences, to come up in the middle of interfacing. Slash: Inferno/Red Alert


Warning: Crack, pure unadulterated, giggling gleefully the whole way crack. This is what happens when I go to my beta in a fit of giggles and start coming up with the craziest mental images I can come up with.

Thanks goes out to yankeesailor for letting me bounce these crazy ideas off of her and for beta'ing tirelessly in the face of gleeful insanity on the author's part.

Disclaimer: Not mine, nor am I making any money off of this. The only thing I own are the twisted, and cracky, ideas circulating around in my head.

* * *

It never ceased to surprise Inferno how he was still learning new things about Red Alert every single day. The two had been fast friends for vorns but it was only recently after the whole Starscream debacle that their relationship had taken a deeper, more personal turn.

Almost losing his friend had prompted Inferno to finally confess to Red Alert how deeply his feelings truly ran. The firetruck, usually the most fearless mech around, had been uncharacteristically hesitant about putting himself out on that emotional limb. Thankfully, the spastic Security Director had not blown up in Inferno's face or been disgusted by the search and rescue mech's stuttering and bumbling attempts to profess his undying love.

Understandably awkward and frustrated, Inferno had simply grabbed Red Alert and yanked him close enough to kiss. The Lamborghini had not protested that much and the two repressed mechs found themselves molesting each other without a care in the world in the middle of Red Alert's security room.

Under normal circumstances, Red Alert would never have allowed such a gross breach of conduct--but the security officer was finding it hard to compute basic thought when Inferno was doing those clever things with his hands. The fire truck also continued to kiss him with that searing sort of desperation that just about sealed the fate of Red Alert's ability to process things straight.

Not that Red Alert was idle, mind you. The repressed mech was busy exploring Inferno's chassis and was delighted to discover the fire truck was especially sensitive along the rungs of his ladder and around the wing-like protrusions framing his head.

They way Inferno moaned when Red Alert explored those delicate-looking protrusions was distinctly gratifying and the security director pulled away from their kissing long enough to smirk up at the taller mech. "You okay?" he asked in a teasing tone of voice.

Inferno just shivered and gave him a heated look. The fire-truck's optics had darkened to an impassioned indigo color. "Yeah, Ah'm fine." It was the first real break they'd taken in their hasty explorations and both mechs were cycling air at an accelerated and ragged rate. Inferno raised his hand and stroked the side of Red Alert's faceplates with surprising tenderness as a goofy grin started to break out on his own faceplates.

Red Alert's engine purred in contentment as their frenzied explorations turned more leisurely and sensual. He had to fight back a groan when Inferno's fire-hose hand traced the line of his spoiler and the sports car leaned into the taller mech and let his forehead fall against Inferno's shoulder.

Chuckling to himself, the fire truck made a point of stroking the sensitive spoiler a bit more firmly, just so he could elicit another stifled sound from his friend. That was when Inferno discovered something new about Red Alert. The Lamborghini's spoiler might have been sensitive but that reaction was nothing when compared to the way his engine revved sharply when Inferno nuzzled at one of those oh-so-tempting horns adorning Red Alert's helm.

It made sense really. Those horn-like protrusions were tied in with Red Alert's hypersensitive sensor net, so it only stood that they'd be preternaturally sensitive. Inferno just hadn't been expecting them to be _that_ sensitive. Red Alert moaned and all but melted against him as his knees seemed to forget how to support his own weight. Dark hands scrambled for a hold on Inferno and tightened onto what metal they could grasp.

A surprised noise rumbled in Inferno's vocalizer before he made use of the convenient angle to nuzzle and nip at one of those horns once again. The way Red Alert moaned his name had the fire truck quivering in delight and he grabbed onto the Lamborghini's spoiler and leaned him up against the wall to support him since Inferno's own systems were beginning to rev and show signs of approaching overload.

With his mouth firmly attached to Red Alert's sensor, Inferno was not expecting the reaction he got when the overwhelmed security director finally overloaded with a cry. Electricity suddenly flared up from his horns as they were wont to do whenever Red Alert's sensor net went haywire. Unfortunately for Inferno, metal conducted electricity, and the jolt of ten thousand volts of electricity suddenly flaring up where his mouth was attached was not what he was expecting.

The jolt and electricity shot through his body and the unexpected sensations were enough to short out the fire-truck's systems and send him into overload at the same instant. Alarms went off as Inferno cried out and fell against Red Alert. The large mech's weight was enough to send Red Alert sliding to the ground and the two mechs ended up sprawling across the plates.

Smoke rose from Inferno's joints and body as the dizzy mech slowly came down from his overload.

"I—Inferno?" Red Alert gasped in surprise and fear. The fire-truck was shuddering and seemed to have trouble supporting his weight on his arms as he looked up at the Lamborghini with glazed optics.

"Do that again?" He groaned hoarsely a moment before the dark color of his optics bled to white and he keeled over to fall down face-first in Red Alert's lap. Metal pinged and smoke continued to rise from the scorched, if thoroughly satisfied, fire-truck's body.

Pinned down by the heavier mech's weight and feeling as weak as a sparkling, Red Alert just stared at the fallen fire-truck for a moment before whimpering in mortification. He had no idea how he was going to explain this to Ratchet but common sense won out over modesty and the exhausted security director sent out a distress call to the CMO.

"I can't believe you," he muttered down at the unresponsive Inferno, and let his head fall back against the wall as he waited for Ratchet to arrive. The part of him that was obsessively private was mortified about inviting the medic into his private affairs. But the thoroughly self-satisfied 'I just had the best shag of my life' part of Red just didn't care and he'd already fallen into a tired recharge by the time the surprised medic arrived.


End file.
